Freebsd Fortunes 4: 2081 of 2327 |
Lank: Here we go. We're about to set a new record.
Earl: (to the crowd) How about a date?
Lank: We've done it. Earl has set a new record. Turned down by
20,000 women.
-- Lank and Earl
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Freebsd Fortunes 4: 2082 of 2327 |
Lansdale seized on the idea of using Nixon to build support for the
[Vietnamese] elections ... really honest elections, this time. "Oh, sure,
honest, yes, that's right," Nixon said, "so long as you win!" With that
he winked, drove his elbow into Lansdale's arm and slapped his own knee.
-- Richard Nixon, quoted in "Sideshow" by W. Shawcross
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Freebsd Fortunes 4: 2083 of 2327 |
Large increases in cost with questionable increases in
performance can be tolerated only in race horses and women.
-- Lord Kalvin
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Freebsd Fortunes 4: 2084 of 2327 |
Largest Number of Driving Test Failures
By April 1970 Mrs. Miriam Hargrave had failed her test thirty-nine
times. In the eight preceding years she had received two hundred and
twelve driving lessons at a cost of L300. She set the new record while
driving triumphantly through a set of red traffic lights in Wakefield,
Yorkshire. Disappointingly, she passed at the fortieth attempt (3 August
1970) but eight years later she showed some of her old magic when she was
reported as saying that she still didn't like doing right-hand turns.
-- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"
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Freebsd Fortunes 4: 2085 of 2327 |
Larkinson's Law:
All laws are basically false.
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Freebsd Fortunes 4: 2086 of 2327 |
LASER:
Failed death ray.
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Freebsd Fortunes 4: 2087 of 2327 |
Last guys don't finish nice.
-- Stanley Kelley, on the cult of victory at all costs
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Freebsd Fortunes 4: 2088 of 2327 |
Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up
the pillow was gone.
-- Tommy Cooper
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Freebsd Fortunes 4: 2089 of 2327 |
Last night I met upon the stair
A little man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today.
Gee how I wish he'd go away!
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Freebsd Fortunes 4: 2090 of 2327 |
Last night the power went out. Good thing my camera had a flash....
The neighbors thought it was lightning in my house, so they called the cops.
-- Stephen Wright
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